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On the third day however things did hit me. It was in the evening actually, and I told Cal while we were with family that I was "losing it"....my term for the seizure activity that seems to have hit me. It's a complete overload, and I have to stop and lay back. Most of the time I'm aware of what's going on around me as I can hear people talking and understand, but I just don't have enough energy to respond. Cal has noted that my pulse gets a bit "thready" (he calls it), and it looks as if I'm sleeping.
This lasted he said about 40 minutes. A bit longer than normal, but only by a few minutes. When I sat up I felt better, drank something and chatted for a while before we returned to the room we had gotten just down the road. (Cal drove)
The following morning we left for Houston (Sunday). The mediation was on Monday, most of the day went fairly well, but by late afternoon the overload was beginning to hit me again. There were 7 people present in this room, so it was quite a lot of action for someone who had a brain injury. But I actually surprised myself too! I knew that this therapy I had received 5 days earlier had done something, and I felt strongly about continuing my therapy when my mediation was over.
I brought Cal with me as I knew I wouldn't remember everything as there are too many things going on to even TRY to keep track! This was also beneficial to me because I wanted him to feel as strongly about this therapy as I did, and unless he could SEE for himself, and hear what went on, I didn't think I would have the support at home that I truly felt I would need as time goes by. (I have TOTAL support by the way from Cal)
The therapy started with testing/resistance for checking some of the problems he had found per my first visit 2 months earlier. Touching pressure points, clearing the brain for a new comand (as Dr. Downey called it) and following some simple commands that he asked me to do, like opening or closing my eyes, fast breathing, turning my head, putting my tongue to one side of my cheek, etc. all while he is working on me.
As he begins to try to stabilize many areas, and double check them as we go to make sure they're staying responsive, we also work on some emotional fears/phobias, etc. I warn you up front....if you don't think you will do any crying? THINK AGAIN! As this therapy goes on, things come out, and as they come out....you will HEAL! It's all up to YOU!
At one point during therapy Dr. Downey was doing something with my skull as I suddenly felt a "shift" in the skull itself. I was surprised, but felt a "relief" or maybe the best way to describe it is call it a "release". It FELT like it actually MOVED! And it DID! Now THAT dear friends was something amazing in itself! I never would have thought that possible, but it IS!
You have to remember that not only did I lose consciousness on impact, I also hit the left side of my face and head on the steering wheel. I have had a lot of facial pain since I was injured.
He also worked with some of the gallbladder trouble that I figured I might have, but he found out POSSITIVELY I had. There are 4 points to check (if I remember right), and the others seem to be intack. It's the valve above the stomach that isn't working correctly. And believe me, when he pushed on it, I felt nausea almost immediately! This was uncomfortable, but yet comforting.
Now I KNOW that has to sound strange, but knowing that someone can help your TOTAL body heal is a feeling that I have NEVER experienced in my life! I also feel TOTALLY SAFE and SECURE, which is something I think most everyone can relate to. Especially a BI'er because most of us have struggled for many years to find a doctor who knows about BI and understands, let alone can help us HEAL!
I am also having to DETOX from the meds I've been on for years. (blood pressure, Prilosec, Claritin, and that good ole water pill that makes life so much fun)! :)
I will start that detox on 2/8/02. This means off ALL meds at once! YES, you heard it! I have herbal formulas that I'll be taking, and lots of distilled or reverse osmosis purified water to drink. No caffeine, NO artificial sweetners (that one's gonna hurt), a low carb diet, and high protein. (Hmmmm, this is starting to sound like Dr. Atkins, huh)?!
Therapy resumes next Tuesday afternoon!
I woke this morning with NO VERTIGO! (yes, I'm smiling)! I felt GREAT! I was a little tired last night after therapy, and starting to overload as I had overdone it for a few days before and hadn't slept Tuesday night. (a fairly normal thing for a BI'er)
So far today, I've quit all meds. Drinking a lot of water, and taking my BP off and on to monitor it and to let Dr. Downey know if there's any problems. I'm taking some herbal formulas that he gave me also.
Now HOW you ask? Well, by reprograming the "primative brain", and starting to work through the "mental" trauma, a lot of the acid just "STOPPED"! (ok quit laughing!) That's just what happened!
I began a list of things that I wanted to ask him because I knew that I would "forget" most of them when it came time for my appointment. He addressed them ALL! Now NOBODY has that great of response from a doctor.....DO THEY? Well, "I" sure am! And I'm LOVING IT! I think ALL doctors should be this responsive and this caring about all their patients! It's worth a million!
I still seem to be sleeping fairly regular. I had one night that I stayed up, but that seems to not be as much of a problem as it has been for over the past 4 years. I look forward to a full recovery on that issue!
I have very regular bowels (the first 2 days were VERY, VERY regular)! But not uncomforable, so don't let this all scare you. You have to set your mind on getting DETOXED, and don't stop thinking of how much BETTER you're going to feel when it's all over!
I'm on what he calls a "Cleansing Diet", and will be for about the next month he says. It consists of: Brown Rice, organic vegetables, fruits, soy milk, fish, non steroid-antibiotic free meats, lots of water, and plenty of REST! (of course I'm smiling)!
Please be advised that all foods are to be organic or non antibiotic, so you'll need to do some research as to where in your town you can purchase these things.
I also have 2 "exercises" that I have to do each day and journal my feelings. These are MENTAL exercises, and NO, I don't' know what they DO yet, but I WILL, and I'll let YOU know when "I" know! I'll put those on another link that I'm working on, so be patient! I'll also include a bit more about the NOT ALLOWED foods!
I am still amazed at the things that are opening up with this therapy. Things that I wasn't aware of "mentally", and things that I "figured" might be a problem, but never figured they would end up hurting me PHYSICALLY! Now, if someone would have said to me a few years ago that our EMOTIONAL traumas would manifest in our bodies, I would have told them they were CRAZY! But it's SO TRUE! Our EMOTIONAL state of mind has more to do with our bodies than you think! I plan on using mine to my ADVANTAGE! (actually, I plan on getting RID of them and THAT will be my Advantage!)
I find myself crying when he mentions something while I'm on the table and he's testing and touching pressure points and talking to my "brain"!
It seems that these spoken words open up more things that I didn't even know existed. I feel the emotion well up inside, and it just comes out! I don't really have a lot of control over it, but I will have to admit, I don't want to walk out of his office with swollen eyes, so I may hold back "just a TAD"! (ok, I'm in trouble for that comment as soon as the doc reads this)!
What I'm trying to say, is there is an EMOTIONAL RELEASE from this therapy! There are traumas in your life, whether emotional or physical (some that happened while you were still in the womb or aren't even aware of), that have affected how your body responds to LIFE. And if you KEEP those trapped emotions in and don't release them, they manifest into physical problems and ailments.
"Say WHAT?," you say?! Ok, I know it must sound strange, but think about it! You have to look at your body as a "chemical" machine. It's not just flesh and blood and bone! When you RESPOND or don't respond to situations in your life, certain chemicals are released into your body. If the brain doesn't release the correct chemicals or the correct amount, then your physical body suffers.
You can also REPROGRAM your brain! Ok, I know.....NOW YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING, right?! NOPE! Not one bit! This is something I wouldn't kid about! I'm a walking example. And things are happening in only 3 sessions?! This is FANTASTIC! And believe it or not, that emotional release is HEALING you!
Now the HOW part? Well, I haven't gotten that far yet! Just GIVE ME TIME!
So, I'm eating my special diet, taking all the herbs and herbal formulas I was given, and wondering HOW I'm going to pass the time! (yes, I'm smiling)!
By the date, you can see that there has been quite a space between therapy sessions. This was because Dr. Downey was in South Africa on Seminar. YES, I MISSED MY THERAPY! (a lot more than you'll ever know)!
Although Dr. Downey warned me about some of the aches and pains that I might experience going through DETOX and just some of the changes in the brain and body itself, it never really hit HOME until I was smack dab in the middle of it all! I never quite understood just how drastic some of these changes would be. The mood swings that would make even the BEST man cry......the temperature changes that for even someone like me who very rarely gets COLD, would cause her to put heavy winter socks on and put a heating pad under the covers and still fight to stay warm! (this lasted about 8 or 9 hours, and was one of the worst nights I've had in a long time)!.......the energy levels that although seemed quite small at the time, were enough of a difference that I didn't know how to use them.......with the "mushy" symptoms off and on that I was getting from the changes in the brain, and the added energy, I was like a child going from toy to toy and never really stopping long enough to enjoy either!
This was just the beginning of it all. The depression although "mild" to some doctors, was such a change that even I didn't know how to deal with it. The "normal" depressions that come in ones life time were usually handled quite differently. I'm the type of person who goes through a day, maybe two at the most of something, then finally kicks myself in the butt and goes out and DOES SOMETHING! Maybe a walk in the mall (which hasn't happened much since the BI by the way), or better yet, checking out some of the inside flea markets in town, and totally doing a "NO BRAINER"! Or listening to music, or watching a good comedy on TV......NONE of these things seemed to work!
OK I thought.....NOW what do I do?! I didn't FEEL like doing ANYTHING particular, and the things that USUALLY brought me out of any kind of depression just seemed to EGG IT ON! Heh, I'm NOT a shrink, but something just isn't right! OH, I sure wished I could run away from this person I was becoming.......or maybe that was the person I WAS?! Oh, God, PLEASE NO! I didn't want to BE that person! Not in your wildest dreams! I sure didn't like this one at all!
Well, there IS an end to this story! (thought you might be wondering) My appointment today was shorter than the usual, but totally expected as Dr. Downey and Shauna were both suffering from jet lag (and a flyers nightmare....LOST BAGGAGE), and trying to make up for lost time being gone almost a month. OUCH! So, he touched up on some basics, and it didn't matter 'cuz I KNEW that I would be feeling better when I LEFT than when I had COME IN! (trust me, I NEVER feel worse when I leave)!
I was a BAD GIRL too, and hadn't done my exercises like I was supposed to do while the doctor was gone. (that won't happen again....I PROMISE)! But I guess I had to go through some of that to get to where I am NOW! Hmmmm? Where AM I NOW?! Well, I'm finding out more and more! (I HOPE)!
Todays session was quite a bit different. Dr. Downey was away until late afternoon, so Shauna did therapy early on. We watched 2 videos, one on "Tai Chi", and one on the "Fountain of Youth". Both of which I will be adding to my daily "exercises"! (YES, I promise I'll be a GOOD GIRL and do them)!
Shauna touched on some pressure points that I hadn't noticed before, and although some were painful, they seemed to respond fairly well, and we found some areas that we needed to work on more. (I'm never surprised at this anymore as my body is going through some BIG changes)!
I laughed, cried, and teased a bit as Shauna is quite younger than I, but also was surprised at her knowledge too. Up till now, she had mostly done the recording of what was happening in our sessions, and kept the records up to date as to herbal formulas, things like that. I was HAPPILY surprised I might add!
When Dr. Downey returned he hit the "SLAB", so to speak! (in trucker talk....that's hitting the Dog, kicking the Cat.....) OUCH! Oh, that's for the tenderness that he found in so many areas. (and that's putting it nicely, believe me, I didn't think I could HURT that much and be GLAD)! Ok, I'm NOT going nuts here, I just KNOW that after the pain subsides, your body feels GREAT!
Yes, if it could be done "NICER", of COURSE I would be pleased, but there are certain things that you've just got to DIG IN to get done! (pardon the PUN here)!
I have abused my body for so long, it's going to take those DIG INS to really stir things up. (and that it's doing too)! But like I said, "It's only PAIN, I'll get over it!" Oh, how TRUE! Before I left, I felt like someone had lifted 800 pounds off me!
Therapy this past year has been intense and sporatic as the doctor has been in and out of the state (and country), and I may have a couple sessions, then weeks between.
It's a bit harder this way I'm sure, but still there are many things that have seemed to advance.
I have noticed that my memory is much better. Of course, that also depends on how fatigued I am when I'm hearing something, or how many times I can repeat it to myself so I can remember it!
But I'm still in therapy, and with the holidays coming up things will be a bit up and down again too.
Although I have noticed many little things getting better, the "overload" doesn't seem to be getting as good as I'd like it to.
I still overload, from short trips to the store, etc., and have to hibernate for days at a time to recover. But I have noticed that I am able to do a bit more, so I'm sure that adds to the overload. The problem is, I'm still not able to function in the "normal" way that I used to.
These things I am hoping will all come together when therapy is all done. I do have to admit that many little things have changed in my life, and without this therapy, that never would have happened!
More as time goes by!
How time flies when you're having fun?! Ok, so it's been quite some time since I've updated this page! I haven't been to therapy since before Christmas, and believe me, I'm feeling it!
So many things had started to change, but going to therapy off and on with weeks in between was making it very difficult to cope with "life".
As the days and months go by with no therapy, I realize that "regular" doctors just don't know what they're doing anymore! So many things can be regulated WITHOUT DRUGS, and so many doctors still have their heads stuck into the sand so deep that I'm not sure they would ever be able to recover!
As the days permit, I will try to catch you up on some of the things that have been happening since my therapy, and some of the things that have "returned" since it stopped.
Be patient, I'm a BI'er....REMEMBER?
Wow, how things change in the blink of an eye! Whew! So many things to say and so little internet to say it all! :-)
For those who can/have found a therapist that does any of these techniques, I know you are so much better off than those of us who haven't. Dr. Downey's therapy was great, but the cost was way too much for my payheck (disability) to handle. The protocol he used was by the BOOK and it did so much for me! I only wished I could have been able to continue. The problem was he was traveling all over the world and making more money doing that than I could ever afford. Be careful who you spend money on, and if they want that money Up Front, be even MORE careful!
Now, the therapy itself was AWESOME, and I'd give just about anything to have some of those protocol books he used becausde I might be able to continue some of the therapy myself, or at least aim some of it toward another doctor who was local and wasn't moving around all the time.
If you've found a doctor that does Cranio Sacral therapy, PLEASE do yourself a favor and make an appointment! Tell the doc what kind of injury you have and I'd be willkng to bet that he/she will be able to release some of the energy that you've been starved of since your BI.
Living with a BI is NOT easy, and after almost 20 years of living this way, I think I can honestly say that with plenty of authority. (Yes, I'm smiling)!
Make the best of your recovery as you can. Get the most help/therapy as you can, and if you need to continue some of that therapy for the rest of your life and if helps you, then you're doing AWESOME! I still see a pain specialist and would see him more often if he could squeeze me in. I also see a massage therapist who helps keep me sane also and works with some of the 'Nerve Entrapment' issues I have since the BI.
I still don't take pain meds for any of this and believe me, it's hard to maintain sometimes, but I still do my Essential Oils to help with the pain, stiffness and soreness that I deal with, and although it's not a pill, they work GREAT, you just need to pay attention to what you're using, and why you're using it.
Continue to keep Looking UP and don't give up, even if it gets hard to do. I have my 'days' and sometimes those days wander off into the sunset for way too long, but I make do with what I've been given and go from there!
Hang in there everyone! :-) You can do it too!
~ barbara jean ~