I grew up in Nebraska. That GO BIG RED state, where the only time I can remember the state scale (chicken house in trucker talk) being closed was on a football Saturday!  You could almost guarantee it!

I remember snows so deep that we could tunnel under it for what seemed like blocks!  And summers that brought rains and electric storms that would make you gasp for air because they seemed to crash around you so close!

I think I had a fairly good childhood.  But I would have never thought I would drive a semi for a living when I got older!  That was never a thought in my mind!

Growing up with 3 brothers makes you learn at an early age that if you want to have FUN, you have to learn to play the same games that the "boys" play!  That means football, baseball, basketball, climbing trees, fishing, and all the "boy" things.

Funny how I seemed to enjoy myself more with the boys too!  It seemed that when there was a problem, the boys didn't "stew" on it like the girls did.  They got mad and went on.  You could tell them what you thought, and that was the end of it. (at least if it wasn't, they never said a word)!

I always seemed to love to drive.  It seemed that it was my way of getting alone by myself, listening to the music on the radio and doing whatever "I" wanted to do!

So driving a semi almost seemed "natural" at first.  Oh yes, of course I was scared to death when I first started driving, but as I continued, I felt like it was part of me.  It didn't seem like a "JOB".  It wasn't a "CHORE" to go to work every day.  It was my LIFE!

Not a lot of people can say that.  They complain about their jobs and the money and the people they have to deal with every day.  But they have one advantage the American Trucker doesn't have.  They can go HOME after their work day is done!

Going HOME each night isn't an option if you want to make any money driving truck.  In fact, if more people had to work in some of the conditions that a trucker had to work in, they would QUIT!  But, trucker's AREN'T quitters!

They put up with more BS out there than most people I've ever met.  They deal with road conditions, dispatchers who SAY one thing but want the driver to DO another!  They have to put up with some nasty people on the docks (including LUMPERS who try to steal from you and overcharge you for work that should have been done by the DOCK HANDS)!

Even with all this, I still loved my job!  I was GOOD at it!  And I could parallel park 76 ft. of tractor and trailer better than most people can back their CAR into a parking spot!

So on that fateful morning of December 24, 1997 when I was rear-ended by a guy who didn't have his mind on his job, it cost me my career.

This is not an uncommon story, as more BI'ers have lost careers than not.  We have to try and pick up the pieces, and "normies" who have no CLUE about what life as a BI'er is like can't imagine why it's so hard for us to do.  The hard part is we were once in that "clueless" population too!

Now begins the struggle of a lifetime!  Why were we spared?  WHO KNOWS?  But I do believe that somewhere there is a reason for our Survival.  Some where there will be an answer to that question.  Until we know for sure....we keep continuing to grow.  Continuing to ask questions.....and continuing to find answers!  I'm hoping that some of what you will find in my web sites will be the latter! ANSWERS!

It's those ANSWERS that make our lives more bearable.  And it's those ANSWERS that I'm still trying to find.  I've found many of them, but as time goes by, it seems there are always more to ask!

I hope the travels that have brought you here also help you learn to relax and enjoy the life that you were left.  I hope that some of this information you have read here makes a difference in your life and how you recover.

And I hope that you can rejoice once again in finding some ANSWERS to those hard to find questions.

~ barbara jean ~

~ barbara jean ~

When I first got this injury that's how I felt......alone, isolated, and wondering if I could ever find the door in the dark.

I'm still in there searching, but I do know that when they put me in here, they forgot to "lock" the door, and some day.......

I'M COMING OUT!